Preserving Sanity
February 4th, 2008 at 12:04 am (Journal)
Recovering from illness left my little girls tired and grumpy. They took long, quiet naps, but upon awakening one or the other cried incessantly. After a week of toddler meltdowns, I had one myself. Uncontrollable wailing tends to wake children, so I grabbed my journal and wrote page after page of incoherent sentences. Allowing my thoughts to ramble gave me needed perspective. I learned this method of preserving my sanity a number of years ago.
In high school my English teacher introduced stream of consciousness writing. It was hard for a type-A personality like me to write whatever came to mind, but I did it, and, if I remember correctly, even enjoyed it. Mrs. E. also required us to keep a journal that year. She encouraged me to keep inventing words like “slunched” and gave pithy advice such as “follow your heart.” Telling me to follow my heart may not have been wise back then, but I did discover that writing helped process my turbulent emotions. As the years passed, I recorded more of my thoughts and prayers. Scraps of paper turned into journals overflowing with moments of my life.
The amount of writing tapered off with the birth of children. It took me four years to fill my last covered notebook. Yet even in the sparse records I see answered prayers, I remember fun surprises, and I realize how these years are slipping away.
Yes, the years are slipping away, but I flail as drowning in the arduous moments. The moments I want to scream, or run away, or hide. These trying times are part of life, so they have a place in my motley stack of handwritten books as well. Looking back in twenty years, I’ll smile knowing the value that transcends the seeming futility. Love is never in vain.
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Dana said,
February 4, 2008 at 5:27 am
I don’t like those times, either. Believe it or not, I’ve never been much one for journaling. I have tried it various times, but it always ends up mutating into something else and not so personal. But writing has always been a release for me, even if I’m not directly writing about what is bothering me.
It helps me focus my thoughts, I guess.
Sunniemom said,
February 4, 2008 at 8:07 am
I hear that!
In those especially stressful times, I play opera and sing very loudly while cleaning the house. For some reason screaming in Italian is socially acceptable, and I can take out all my frustration by killing germs and eliminating mold and mildew. :p
My kids haven’t realized yet that when I do this, I am working off rage or sorrow. They think it is hilarious, and usually join in. Then suddenly life falls back into perspective.
Hey, it works for me! :D
CHANDRAN said,
February 4, 2008 at 8:32 am
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Karen @ Simply A Musing Blog said,
February 4, 2008 at 10:47 am
True words. I don’t write nearly as much as I would like to, partly because of homeschooling, but mostly because I don’t have the energy to devote to it anymore. Raising my children in the fear and admonition of the Lord is the most important thing I can think of doing right now.
Thanks so much for your comment on my blog. I have never heard that children “perfect our sins”, but my mom used to tell me that my kids would do only half of the good things I did and twice the bad. Guess she was right. :)
Melissa said,
February 4, 2008 at 11:41 am
Sorry to hear you’ve been battling sickness. No fun–I know!
I’ve always wanted to journal more, but the fear of them actually being read has prevented me! :) I would have liked to have had a teacher that forced journaling–but, I don’t know if I could do that to my kids. Not yet, anyway!
BTW! Where do you find your beautiful artwork?!
February 4, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Dana,
I thought you would enjoy journaling. You’ve surprised me once again. :)
Sunniemom,
That is so funny! Maybe I need to learn to Italian. I could use some safe ways to yell once in awhile.
Karen,
Amen! Raising our children is even way important than the glittering lights of fame. ;)
The flip side of children following our example is our powerful influence for the good. I think that oftentimes my children learn just as much, if not more, when I do fail. The conversations after appropriate apologies teach them about the grace of God.
And I’m hoping that your mother’s prediction is wrong. When I dream about the future, I see my children doing twice the good and half of the bad. :)
February 4, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Melissa,
I’ve found that my journals aren’t that interesting to the casual observer. Although I haven’t given others much chance to read them. ;) Maybe my great-grandchildren will enjoy reading about my meltdowns. I don’t know, but I would like to know my great-grandmother’s thoughts. Can you imagine having a journal penned by your ancestors? Since blogging is a form of journaling, we can pass down our URLs. :)
My son does keep a prayer journal. He draws pictures and writes a sentence or two about his Bible reading, but it is a start.
The artwork on my blog comes from a couple of sources:
Web Gallery of Art
Art Renewal Center
Most of the paintings are old enough to be in the public domain, but watch out for copyright notices at Art Renewal Center. Some of the paintings there are current works. Images from that site will also need to be resized for blog use. They are very large files. Enjoy!
Jennifer in OR said,
February 5, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Renae, that painting fits so beautifully with this post! You’re a wonderful writer and should be journaling. Me, on the other hand, we’re all better off if I don’t journal! :-)
February 6, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Jennifer,
Thank you for your kind words. However, you haven’t read my journals. If you did, you might change your mind. They are very unlike my posts.
I have started including things that posterity may actually be interested in such as quotes from my kids and small successes. Hopefully, that will overshadow the whining a bit. :)
Hopeful Spirit said,
February 10, 2008 at 3:41 am
Thanks so much for participating in The Seventh Day blog carnival On the Horizon! This post is a wonderful contribution to this week’s carnival. What a great suggestion for keeping oneself grounded, centered, focused and, indeed, sane!!
I hope that you will stop by and check out the other great submissions this week — and participate again in the future.
Blessings,
Hopeful Spirit
On the Horizon
The Seventh Day: Seventh Edition | On the Horizon said,
February 10, 2008 at 4:13 am
[…] shares Preserving Sanity from Life Nurturing Education. Renae has a surefire method for staying centered, grounded and […]
SandyCarlson said,
February 10, 2008 at 5:10 am
This is a beautiful post. My writing tapered off when my daughter grew out of my lap. The absence of notes is replaced by the pictures of every move she made. When the digital camera came along, eek, we had neither for a while. We had to go back together to put the pieces together. So the story changes, as you show, and it becomes a different story but always a beautiful one. Wishing you peace. God bless.
I’m here via The Seventh Day.
JHS said,
February 10, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Good morning:
Thanks for contributing this post to this week’s Carnival of Family life, hosted at Health Plans Plus!
I can relate to what you have said here, but have never had any luck with the stream of consciousness approach even though a number of professors suggested it. It just isn’t my nature, I guess. I do pound the keyboard enthusiastically, though. :-)
Be sure to stop by the Carnival tomorrow and read some of the other wonderful entries!
JHS
Colloquium
Mommy Blog Carnival | Pajama Mommy » Mommy Blogger Community said,
February 15, 2008 at 10:20 am
[…] presents Preserving Sanity posted at Life Nurturing Education and says, eflections on the arduous moments of […]
Friday Roundup « Remodeling This Life said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:05 pm
[…] Renae at Life Nurturing Education wrote about Preserving Sanity. […]
Deborah Robinson said,
February 17, 2008 at 7:33 pm
This article has been included in the latest edition of Mom’s Blogging Carnival